I prayed for her before I knew her name

In high school — junior and senior year — I prayed for the woman I would marry. I didn't know who she was. I prayed for her protection, and that she would know Jesus. It was a constant thing, not a one-time wish.

I met her the first day of college. We dated four years and got married after we graduated from Bethel.

I'm not telling you that so it sounds like a movie. I'm telling you because it's the clearest evidence I have for the thing this is actually about: prayer is a discipline, and discipline compounds. You just can't see it compounding while it's happening.

My timing is not God's timing. The work was never about getting God to move faster — it was patience and trust.

What the discipline actually is

Most mornings, before the day starts, I write in a prayer journal on my iPad. I use the 10X Life Plan journal so the process is the same every day. I'm not reinventing how to pray each morning — I just show up to the same page and do it.

I also walk. Consistently. Not for the steps — to listen. I'm asking what I should be praying for, and what I should know about the day in front of me.

That's the whole system. It isn't complicated. It's just supposed to happen every day, which is exactly where it gets hard.

I spent a lot of mornings mad at God

For a long time I treated prayer like a request line. I'd ask for something and expect it answered on the day I asked. When it wasn't, I got frustrated. I spent many days mad at God for not answering everything I asked on the day I asked it.

What I had to learn — and I'm still learning it — is that my timing is not God's timing. The work was never about getting God to move faster. The work was patience and trust.

If I could hand a younger man one thing, it's this: don't stay mad at the timing. That frustration is just a slower way of admitting you trust your own schedule more than His.

You only see the answers in the rear-view. The proof isn't in this morning's prayer; it's in the line you can only draw looking backward.

The look-back is the point

Consistency matters because you only see the answers in the rear-view. In the moment it feels like nothing is happening. Years later you look back and see all the places the prayers were answered.

The wife I prayed for in high school, before I had any idea who she was. The years I prayed for the chance to run a software company. I could not have seen any of it on the day I asked.

That's the entire case for consistency and trust. The proof isn't in this morning's prayer. It's in the line you can only draw looking backward.

When I drop it, my family feels it first

This isn't abstract. When I'm not in the flow — when the discipline slips — I can feel my patience decrease. Lots of areas get harder. I'm less intentional, and the people who feel that first are my wife and kids.

So the discipline was never really about getting my requests in. It's about who I am for them when I've spent time listening before the day starts, versus when I haven't. That's the leadership part, and it's downstream of the discipline — not separate from it.

Prayer is a discipline, not a panic button. Show up to it daily, hold it with patience, and let the look-back do the convincing.